As I write this short May note, my 10-month old is tossing her pile of clean diapers all over the floor and exploring her favorite toys that I laid in a heap in front of her hoping they might keep her out of trouble long enough for me to write this here note. :-) Let it be stated that this favorite heap of toys includes a spoon, her toothpaste, a DVD container, and an old container of floss (with the actual floss removed). Why do we ever buy this child real toys? :-)
The update in this part of the world is...
- I have appreciated many giggles as a direct result of the crazy behavior of the above mentioned child. (things such as turning around and finding her lying as low down as possible on the floor trying to peer under her daddy's studio door)
- I have been blessed with numerous unexpected days/partial days off due to a low patient census at work.
- Charles and I are headed to the Black Hills in short order and Makafui will be spending her first full weekend with grandma and grandma. Praying even now that the Lord miraculously grants them sleep. :-)
- Lord willing, Makafui will be a big sister somewhere around November 21st. We are excited and nervous at the same time, but we believe children are a gift from the Lord and we are richly blessed!
- Most importantly, the Lord has not given up on this wretch. He continues to speak to me and challenge me, especially in this stage of life. Adjusting to marriage and motherhood is something that has been great, but not easy for me. I cannot say I have yet adapted to it in terms of my relationship with God. Single life allowed for so much uninterrupted time to spend with the Lord and life now is so filled with tasks and the need for constant supervision. Makafui doesn't really sleep much, so using her nap times for time with the Lord is not always an option (not to mention when she does sleep, I sleep!!). I know that I need to learn to take the 10 minutes here and 15 minutes there, but it's hard for me to not just say, "I'll wait until later. Maybe I'll get more uninterrupted time then." I am learning that I need to trust God to be enough in this season. I stand in faith that it is not impossible for mothers of young children to passionately pursue God. I just don't think it looks the way it looked when I was single.
- I have currently been reading a book called "When I Don't Desire God- How to Fight for Joy" by John Piper. It caught my attention because I see in my heart lately such a lack of gratitude and joy. I need the Lord's help to give me joy in the mundane; to see that everything has eternal purpose when done with faith, joy, servanthood and a desire to glorify Christ. I also need to be reminded of how much I have been given. It's funny how easily we humans complain. Let me give you an example. When I worked at Rosewood, I worked a minimum of 32 hours per week. Now, I work a maximum of 32, but most often 24. Sometimes, even 16. And yet, I still find myself grumbling about needing to go to work rather than being thankful that the Lord has provided a job that provides for our family with less hours of actual work time. Lord, in your mercy, grant me a heart that sees your goodness in all things.
- A large thunderstorm complete with 75 mile per hour flatline winds went through Fargo yesterday. As I drove to work today, I was reminded that large well-rooted trees which we, in our human wisdom, count to be "sturdy" are in fact like toothpicks before the Lord. With a breath, He snaps them in half. May I learn to rightly fear Him in recognition of this fact.
Well, Makafui has managed to throw all of the clothes out of the laundry basket and has now made her way into the kitchen. Better go do some damage control. :-) May we all passionately pursue the Lord and the glorication of Christ this week. Nothing else matters.
2 comments:
Erin :) Thank you for sharing your heart! I am at a place where so many thoughts and people could pull me away from time spent with Him - even good thoughts and Godly people - and His word to me in this season is "Pursue Me." Complete silence on every other topic. Just "Pursue Me."
But what does that look like when I do have responsibilities and times scheduled when others are relying on me? If it's this way for me now and I don't have a family...oh!! I can only imagine the pulls you are feeling sister.
May you be so intimate with your Father that you actively and passively seek Him during every minute. May it be like breathing - in and out.
And may you find joy in the mundane and commonplace! I often wonder what Jesus thought about those first 30 years. Was he anxiously awaiting those special three years and counting down the days? Probably not. Don't you think that's when his true, deep intimacy with his Father must have developed? Before all the miraculous and world-changing "stuff." During the 'common' days.
Lord, give us appreciation for the common days. Let us see them as times to develop a calm, deep intimacy with You that is not born out of excitement but is born out of familiarity.
I love you girlie! xoxo
Just saw a book on Amazon that looks pretty neat.
"Ceremonials of Common Days" by Abbie Graham
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